Oh my! I certainly didn’t mean to! I’m so sorry, love. The blog is great. I was just cleaning things up and I must have clicked the wrong thing. :)
I CAN’T EVEN. HAHAHAHAHA!
We’ll be a dream.
After countless hours of thought, tears, and screams, I can finally say that I’m free. You’ve given me some of the best days of my life and made me feel things I thought were only possible in my dreams. I’m not gonna lie, for the past month I’ve pretty much hated you. But now…part of me feels sorry for you. I’ve put you through a lot of needless crap. But I needed it. I needed to yell and cry and be irrational. I needed to say hurtful things. I needed to let myself believe you’re a horrible person, even when you’re not.
You’re amazing, really. I’ve always thought that. And even as I feel myself slipping out of love with you, I can still say you’re perfect. You’re going to go far, kid. You have a great head on your shoulders, and you know how to handle your shit. Never once did you lie to me, even if the truth was ripping my heart out. Whether the painful truth be that you no longer loved me, or that you still cared about me. But hurt equally. You’re gorgeous, and loving, and hilarious. None of that has changed. And I will always think these things about you, simply because they’re the truth.
You’ve said some things that have killed me. You’ve been downright mean to me. Hostile and cut off and distant. But I needed this also. I won’t say I’m over you yet. Cause I’m not. But I am ready to move on. You were my first true love. And I will never forget all those small little things you did that made me fall in love with you all over again every time you did them.
Like the way you’d scrunch your nose up when I’d tell you you’re beautiful. Or the way you’d look at me when you wanted a kiss. Or the way you’d completely ignore me when I wanted one. I won’t forget all those silly kisses we shared, or how we could both lay in your bed together, shaking, and not say a word. Just hold onto each other and let love happen. I won’t forget our first kiss…or our last. Or any of the ones in between. I won’t forget holding hands under the covers, or watching you sleep.
I’ll will hold these memories deep in my heart forever. They will always be a part of me. And though we may go seperate ways in life and never speak again, they will hold us together. Cause for two and a half wonderful years, you and I were one. You knew everything about me and vice versa. And even though our time for love is over, we will both love again. We will both hurt again. But we will always be a part of each others lives. I made you truly happy for years, and to know that I did that is enough for me. To know that from time to time, I still may cross your mind is enough for me.
For now, I am free…
"Hey Nathan, what am I supposed to do when my vibrator dies?"
"Get a real boyfriend."
"How would that fix the dilemma of my phone not vibrating? -pause- oh. OH. No, that's not what I meant!"